Friday, 21 November 2014

David Whelan, money and Jews.



Dave Whelan (owner of Wigan Football Club)

who says that Jews chase money more than anyone else

should be asked if he chases money…

If not, he must be the first football club owner in history not to.

If he does chase money, then what's he complaining about?

Chasing money, in his book, must be 'good'. No?

Who cuts wages? Immigrants or employers?

I keep hearing that immigrants cut wages.
So who's that sitting in the board room fixing the wage levels?
Immigrants?
Or employers?
Let's try that again, then..
Who cuts wages?
Employers.

"Pressure on services" - immigrants or bankers?

I keep hearing that immigrants put pressure on services.
For the past four years, we've had government ministers explaining why and how they are putting pressure on services. They're cutting services. They have to do this because the international financiers say that it must be done.
So it's not immigrants putting pressure on services.
It's international financiers.
Funny that they don't say that.

UKIP: immigrants 'welcome' or not?

If I was someone who thought that it would be a good idea to 'send immigrants home' , would I think that UKIP might do that for me?


Yes.


Why would I think that?


Because of many comments that UKIPers have said about immigrants e.g. Farage complaining about the Romanians talking on the train to Reckless's comments about 'looking sympathetically' at those who've been here a long time and/or might do his plumbing.


So if I was someone who thought UKIP was going to 'sort out immigration' what would I make of Reckless saying that European migrants are 'welcome'?


Does this mean that UKIP are going to let me down?

Or does it mean that UKIP give everyone a big nod, to say, yes we are anti-immigrant, er…we can't say that totally openly…but actually if we get into power, we'll get down to work shipping people out…????

Thursday, 20 November 2014

New poem: Tomato



They’ve opened up a new cafe round our way

so I thought I’d give it a try. You go up to the

counter to choose and the menu is high up

on the wall. I saw ‘Homemade Tomato’.

I said, ‘I’ll have the Homemade Tomato, please.’

‘Anything else?’ the man said.

‘I’ll have a cup of tea with that, please.’

‘Usual?’ he said.

‘I haven’t been in this cafe before,’ I said.

‘I know you haven’t,’ he said, ‘I meant do you

want the tea you usually drink.’

‘Yes please,’ I said.

‘And what kind of tea is that?’ he said, ‘I don’t

know what kind of tea that is.’

‘That’s what I thought,’ I said, ‘I’ll have English

breakfast,’

‘I’ve got a breakfast tea here,’ he said, ‘but it

doesn’t say that it’s English.’

‘ I’m not bothered about the English,’ I said.

‘Oh aren’t you?’ he said, ‘It’s all got a bit political,

hasn’t it?’

‘I tell you what, I said, can I have a coffee? Black

Americano.’

He winked. I winked back. I wasn’t sure why I

winked. It felt like the right thing to do at the time.

I sat down.

A few minutes later he came to my table. He had

the coffee and a plate with a tomato on it. He

turned and went back to behind the counter. I

drank some coffee and started on the tomato. He

hadn’t brought a knife and fork, so I reckoned that

the best way to eat it was like you eat an apple.

Pick it up and bite into it. I took pretty small bites

because I’d been caught out like that before. You

take a big bite into a tomato and you end up with

tomato all over yourself. To tell the truth I’m not

mad keen on tomato by itself. I really like it with

bread. Or cut in half and grilled with toast. Or

chopped up with cucumber and Greek parsley

and a bit olive oil and lemon juice. He didn’t

have that on the menu.

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

New poem: Radio



When I’m on my own I like to leave the radio on in

another room. I keep it at a level where I can’t hear

the words, just the sound of words. The other day

I was busy thinking, but the radio was putting me off. I

went in to the room in order to switch it off. In the

room there was a woman interviewing a man. The

man was lying on the floor. She was asking him if he

saw the car. ‘Did you see the car?’ she said.

He said, ‘I’m not on benefits.’

She said, ‘I’m not asking you that. I’m trying to find out

about the incidence of accidents.’

I said, ‘I’m trying to find out about the incidence of

incidents.’

She said, ‘This is an accident black spot.’

I got in very quickly: ‘“Treasure Island”!’

The man lying on the floor said, ‘The Black Spot!’

That’s it. It’s all over.’

She said, ‘I don’t think it’s as bad as that,you’re

just a bit shaken up.’

‘Robert Louis Stevenson!’ I said very quickly.

She looked at me.

I said, ‘The ‘Louis’ is pronounced ‘Lewis’ but spelt

L,O,U,I.S. Lewis. Though when you say it quickly you

don’t know. It could be Louis or Lewis.

RobertLouisStevenson. Like that. On its own, though,

you could tell. Lewis. But spelt, L,O.U.I.S.’

We spent a few minutes practising saying

‘RobertLouisStevenson’.






New poem: Chair



I needed a chair. At the shop the man said that

there was a new Smart Chair.’

He said, ‘It anticipates chair use.’

I said, ‘So, is it like there’s an agreement between

me and the chair? I do what it anticipates I’ll do.’

He said, ‘I think it’s more of a prognosis.’

I said, ‘I’m afraid I’ve never known what the

difference is between a prognosis and a

diagnosis.’

He said, ‘I have that problem too.’

I said, ‘What about the chair?’

He said, ‘I don’t think the chair has a problem.’

‘That’s good,’ I said.

He said, ‘Would you like to use the chair sir?’

I said, ‘I would love to use the chair.’

I sat on it.

‘It’s very good,’ I said.

‘How would you describe the sitting experience,

sir?’

I said, ‘It’s...like...sitting. First I sat down and now

I’m sitting on.’

He made a note.

He said, ‘Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?’

‘No thanks,’ I said, ‘it’s a chair I’m after today.’

‘I know,’ he said.

‘And so does the chair, I expect,’ I said.

‘No, I don’t think so,’ he said, ‘the chair doesn’t

know that you want to buy a chair.’