Sunday 1 July 2012

Evil grammar test rubbish from DfE

OK folks, here's a brand new Gove test for Key Stage 2. Question 6 (in bold type below) coming up from the Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation test:

http://media.education.gov.uk/assets/files/pdf/e/english%20grammar%20spelling%20and%20punctuation%20test%20%20%20sample%20materials.pdf




The sentences below each have an error. The errors are underlined.
Write the correction in the box, making sure the verb matches the tense. 
One has been done for you. 


Yesterday, I have the chance to play for my local team. 

[BOX - shows the word 'had' in the box.] 


1. Our local cafĂ© makes great cakes. We like to sit and ate them on a Saturday. 

[BOX (put answer in box)]


2. The children are going to a shopping centre tomorrow and they had bought
some new toys.

[BOX  (put answer in box)]


3. I am putting on my shoes and I will have been for a walk in the park right now.

[BOX (put answer in box)]


So how did you get on?
I got 'eat' for question 1.
I got 'they are buying' or  'they'll buy' or even 'they'll be buying'  for question 2. Aren't all 3 acceptable? No language is as fixed with its tenses as the question suggests. If my second suggestions are acceptable to the examiners, (which I doubt) then it's clear that within a sentence you can in fact switch tenses rather than 'match' them as the question suggests.

Now for 3.

I'm struggling here. It says clearly that the 'verb' should match 'the tense' which suggests to me that the verb has to stay the same, it's only the tense which should change and only the bit of the verb that is underlined:

OK, let's try it:

I am putting on my shoes and I will BE for a walk...? NOPE

I am putting on my shoes and I will BE BEING for a walk? NOPE

...er....

I'm stuck.

I think I could manage something if I was allowed to change the 'verb' as in

'I am putting on my shoes and I will be GOING for a walk.

BUT IT DOESN'T SAY THAT I'M ALLOWED TO CHANGE THE VERB.SO I'M SITTING HERE NERVOUSLY WORRIED WHY THE 'TO BE' VERB WON'T FIT BUT 'GOING' WILL FIT. SHOULD I PUT IT DOWN AND LOSE MY MARK? WHAT SHALL I DO? I LOOK UP AT THE TEACHER AND SHE'S NOT ALLOWED TO HELP ME. SOMEWHERE SOME TWIT EXAMINER HAS MADE UP THIS PIECE OF NONSENSE. I DON'T KNOW WHO IT IS. I WILL NEVER KNOW WHO IT IS. THIS HAS DONE ME NO GOOD AT ALL. IT HASN'T HELPED ME LEARN ANYTHING ABOUT MYSELF, IT HASN'T HELPED ME LEARN ANYTHING. ALL IT'S DONE IS MADE ME FEEL I'M USELESS.


(that's enough shouty capitals now, Michael)

How did this cock-up happen?


1. Because grammar is never as easy as people in authority say it is.
2. Because if you make up sentences and stick them in exams taken out of the context of paragraphs, chapters or whole pieces of writing of any kind, you can never be fully sure what is totally right. In language, context is all.
3.. Because exams are of their very nature full of errors and incomplete explanations and crap 'rubric'.
4. Because if you're trying to catch kids out, you can.
5. Because if you're trying to catch kids out, there's every chance you'll catch yourself out.